Dave, You Pervert - Reborn

My eyes opened in instinct to the resonating footsteps that drew nearer every second. Within the darkness, silently, I awaited my prey to shift itself at a more appropriate position. And when it did, I emerged from the shadows.
I was successful. I concealed the carcass of my prey - somewhere where it would not be found right away. And I disguised as it, moving one step closer to my ultimate goal.
I finally reached my destination, and it was time to set the final pieces of the puzzle in their places. I had been studying much of Physics lately. And within it, I stumbled upon such a discovery that would shatter the very foundation of the universe. From Physics to Optics, and from Optics to Periscope - such an idea smashed into my mind, an idea to devise my very own ultimate mechanism, an instrument that would feed my insatiable hunger for perversity. I strived. I worked hard. One after another, I stepped forth towards the end of this supreme creation. And finally, I have finally accomplished my goal. In my hand, I had the very last pieces of this puzzle, the very last apparatuses that would complete the design. Before they could track me, before they could appear, I finalized my device and retreated.
At first, I had my very own secret passageway to gaze upon my goal. They barred it shut. I planted miniature wireless video cameras. Their electromagnetic sensors had their way with them. But they should have known better not to mess with me.
Ten different passages, over two hundred prism mirrors, scattered all over the vicinity, and they all led to the same colorful room - the same colorful room which would feed my undying greed, each showing the spectacle from a different angle. Regally, I took my seat. I pulled one of the ten tubes held before me close to my eyes. And I witnessed the display inside. I could see them. I could see them remove one fabric at a time. I could see them - and ponder over their innocence, their purity, their chastity. They were magnificent. The Daiveon's Periscope was a success.

And this is Daiveon.

Hello everyone! This is Daiveon, and he is back, and I can already say some are already irritated by the thought. Yes! Yes, be infuriated, because I am here to annoy you. I am here to set your brain nerves pulsating in rage. YES! Bwahaha! Just kidding. I have changed.

Well, actually, I wish I could have grated on your nerves more, however, I am quite unable to do so. We shifted to another house - in a more civilized and calmer part of the city - but I am not very fond of it. Though this house is 2.5 times my previous home - which is really big, I literally am quite depressed. Previously, I used to live with all of my cousins. I miss my cousins. I miss playing Warcraft and CounterStrike Source in LAN with them. I miss all the celebrations that we used to have. I miss eating the sweets made by my grandmother. I miss the foods cooked by my aunts. I miss the internet - I used to use my aunt's one after my internet got snatched away. Well, it is just that I had lived there since I was just 5, and now I am 17. Obviously, anyone would miss their old home after living there for over 12 years. I guess I will just have to get used to it.

Anyway, so how is everybody? Well, not all, but I can actually notice many familiar people over here. Hey Ryo, you should have informed me about this. I was the one who sparked the whole reunion of L-Factor members thing. The same goes for you too, Sab and Firey. You guys are cruel *cries*. It was Yov (and later, Light Peace) who informed me about this. No fair. But I guess it is fine. It was about time something like this came up. We had been away from L-Factor for quite some time. Good job rebirthing L-Factor.

However, there are some questions that I would want to ask. Why the hell did you use Forumotion? vBulletin is 100 times better than, and advanced, than Forumotion (n00b-ish). There are free website hosting sites (e.g. 110MB.com) where you can mount up your websites. You should have used vBulletin. All those advertisements, irritating flaws (e.g. while posting, in the advanced editor, when you wrap your text with anything, such as, making it "Bold", the typing marker moves to the start of the post - it's very irritating when wrapping the text), and the absence of some functions (e.g. turning post counts off in certain forums; good job thinking of the forum points thing as an alternative). Also, bring back the real artists that we had back in L-Factor (e.g. DarkSephiroth, Khurram) and tell them to make the banner - it would look much better then. I could also make one if you suggest me how you want it (along with the resolution). I'll try my best to make it as kickass as possible. And couldn't you guys pick of a theme brighter than this? It's very dark and depressive, guys.

Now then, let's move to: ME! To all those who have been thinking how I have been (and also to those who are not), I am totally fucked up. I have my A-Levels (from Core Maths 1 to Core Maths 2) in this January and all I am doing is wasting time. I mean, look at the way I waste time: writing lyrics (some mocking the country's politics, some very typical, and the others just excruciatingly stupid), playing DOTA (look on the bright side, I scored over 50 kills with Huskar today - Yay...), air-drumming (is this where you are supposed to say: is he a freak? ), and not doing maths. Ooh, there is another problem. Since the last two months, I sleep too much. Doctor said that it was because of my digestion problems. He said that I crap out most of the food I eat undigested, resulting lack of energy. Oh God, I'm turning into a weakling.

Anyway, I'll be a regular here, i.e. I would try to. Exams, you know. Pray for me people (just a little "may he do well" would be enough); I really need it. See ya!

P.S - One of the Super Moderator / Admin already got so irritated by my appearance that he / she changed my gender.

No, no, I wasn't irrtated, I just love having fun with you

Wanted to see if you'd notice.

I actually wished for your arrival. As long as you behave, I love ya

If you don't behave though....*loads shotgun with pineapples*



(Note: I didn't read any of this journal except the last part of the last post)

D41V30N wrote:

Hey Ryo, you should have informed me about this. I was the one who sparked the whole reunion of L-Factor members thing.

Well, I couldn't log on to the place you made for some reason and I forgot I had ya on Facebook. :/

D41V30N wrote:

However, there are some questions that I would want to ask. Why the hell did you use Forumotion? vBulletin is 100 times better than, and advanced, than Forumotion (n00b-ish). There are free website hosting sites (e.g. 110MB.com) where you can mount up your websites. You should have used vBulletin.

I don't know about you, but I personally can not afford to pay for vBulletin. I prefer that system to any other I have used, but the fact that you have to pay for it has made it unavailable for me...

D41V30N wrote:

Also, bring back the real artists that we had back in L-Factor (e.g. DarkSephiroth, Khurram) and tell them to make the banner - it would look much better then. I could also make one if you suggest me how you want it (along with the resolution). I'll try my best to make it as kickass as possible. And couldn't you guys pick of a theme brighter than this? It's very dark and depressive, guys.

1) I'm offended by that first part. There are "real artists" here. I, for one, happen to be a real artist, in multiple ways at that!

2) The current forum banner was put up due to a lack of anything else to use at the time. Feel free to make your own if you want, at the same resolution.

3) The theme was black/gray and yellow, but I figured blue would be a better fit to the old LF, so I changed it. I just can't bother creating a new theme from nothing at all, mainly because I am not 100% sure how to do the gradients that you see around this place, but also partly because I am just lazy.


Oh, and... Welcome, by the way.

joomla forums are pretty awesome, and joomla being completely free and pretty damn easy to use, well... yea, my 2 cents.

anyway, good to see you back haha. wall of text much

Aloha!

Alas, finally to see you here Dave.
Well, all the best for your examinations. Gambateh Kudasai!!!!!!!!!

Have a blessed day my friend.

Welcome back, Lord Pervert. ^.^

It is time for the forum to lose it's virginity of innocence.... Mwhahahahahahahahahaaha!

May your postcount flourish with every passing day.

Prayer For Exams

Hello everyone! It's been quite a long time since I last visited the place, didn't I - and also, made contact with many of you (ex. Those whom I have in Facebook)? Well, my internet line was busted a while back and then my parents decided never to take it back as I had exams. But beware, by June, I will have a full-fledged internet line at my disposal - and hopefully, I will refill this place with the thing its missing = LIFE! Just kidding, seriously, because Ryo and the others are going to pour in, saying: "Heh *smirk*, the kid thinks so high of himself".

…
Anyway, what have I been up to all these time? In January, I had four units (from Core Mathematics Unit 1 to 4), in which, by my hardwork - and a little bit of luck, I achieved 397 out of 400. But really, I practiced so "fhuckking" much that I can't stand looking at a book right now. Two days from now, at 11th of May, the real AS exams begin (Physics, Chemistry and Biology), and "fhuckk", I seriously have not the slightest clue about what I am going to do about this one. Nine units - and I still haven't completely understood the whole syllabus when I'm just two days away from the exams.

There are several reasons for my downfall. Firstly, I am extremely ashamed to write this: somehow, I have lost a fraction of my true perverted potential. Yes, it may be shocking to many, heart-attacking to some, to hear that Daiveon is not as perverted as he used to be. Somehow, I feel like I have lost the enthusiasm required to bear the tile of Lord Pervert, which itself is oriented from some other reasons I'll mention later.
Secondly, over the last 12 months, I suppose, so much about my life changed so quickly and drastically that I was and still am unable to grasp it properly. Let's see, I moved from my true home - where I lived for over 12 and a half years - and though it's a palace, I still feel for the place I spent my entire childhood.

And then, there were the medical issues - fortunately, my sinus and stomach conditions somewhat improved. However, suddenly, this weird genetic skin disease starts to show up on my legs which comes down from my father's family - apparently, starting from my great grandfather, only my grandfather did not have this case. Doctor told me include Vitamin C in my diet, but heck, I literally devour whole lemons after my lunch (including the skin). Isn't that supposed to be Vitamin C enough? Moreover, I newly developed this constant pain on my bones - especially on the left side. It first occurred when one night I almost "fhuckking" died, and during that time, as my father was in England on a business trip, there was no one to take me to the hospital as it was over 2 o clock. So what? For the whole night, I tried to sleep, but ended up rolling along the whole bed in pain. Mom tried her best to lower pain through medicines and massages. Even they were useless. I took at least 5 to 6 paracetamol (pain relief) tablets, but they did not seem to work. I felt even more frustrated because, if we were still in our old home, there were my uncles and aunts (my mother's family) who could have taken me to the hospital as they have their own cars. Mom still can't drive the car, and it was impossible for me. In the morning, mom called her younger brother and told him to take me to the hospital. And so, I was hospitalized. The Doctor put a Suppositor up my ass… and the pain somehow decreased. However, the same thing happened for two other nights. Doctors advised my parents to make me do a whole body check up, which I will hopefully do after my exams are over, which is at the 9th of June.

Also, I was forced to leave the college I was admitted in. Well, everything was perfect - my two best friends (referred to as Sun and MK in my earlier journal in L-Factor) were with me in the College, I had an awesome girlfriend (Mira) - and another girl (Pristina) pending just so if anything happened between me and Mira (even though we were like a threesome couple anyway). However, some of our school friends had a major argument with our friends in the College. Obviously, as they were from the two different institutes, such tiffs are very common here. However, those bastards from the College went even as far to raise their hand on Sun, even though, by then we had no idea of what might have happened between the two parties. Sun and I called all our school friends, and they were extremely infuriated; all of us decided to deliver them to the hospital. Unluckily for the College friends, they were raised in such a pitiful sized campus - containing only one sixth of the students that we had in our school. About 20 to 25 of us went to their regular hangout place and could not but laugh at their sorry number of just 8 boys. Two of them had to take stitches on their head. But all eight were hospitalized.
Unfortunately, I had to scram out of the College. Mira, Pristina and Naisha (Sun's girlfriend) had to undergo quite a lot for trying to defend us; they were neglected by their whole batch in the College just because they were so intimate with me and Sun. Heck, even I started to neglect Mira and Pristina just because they were THEM and not US. Before, the three of us used to conference over the phone throughout the night; the two used to give me miss-calls throughout the day, and I used to reply to them with consecutive miss-calls (I even received over 100 miss-calls one day when I forgot to take my cell phone out to the market). I used to walk Mira home, feed her ice-cream cones (don't laugh, if you laugh, you're a koala!), and so on - they gave me the FEEL of College. However, after the incident, I couldn't face them, or rather, I didn't want to face them. I avoided their calls. Oh they miss-called me alright, but I didn't feel like miss-calling them. And one day, when the two met with me face to face on the Coaching Centre, I had to tell the two that I was sorry, and that I could not drag the relationship any longer. I felt extremely miserable later on, but I realized that it was for their own good. If they were to study in College, they needed to smooth things out with their friends - and cutting ties with me seemed to be the only way to do so. Moreover, if they wanted to shift Colleges, they would have to explain to their parents as to why they wanted to shift from the institute they studied in for their whole life all of a sudden in the middle of the year. They could not just say: "This College sucks!" like I did, as they had been there since the beginning. Mira seemed depressed at first, but she seems a bit better now. But Pristina , OMG, she went completely nuts. She became too much emotional, called my landline number, gave me weird text messages, filled up my e-mail account, leave irritating instant messages in MSN - and so, I had to severe my ties with her completely. By this time, I've lost much of my interest in having a girlfriend at all.

There were many other reasons, like there was a case where one of my cousin's cousin (whom I look at like a sister) fell in love with me and asked help from one of her friends to match-make the two of us, who - an idiot - confessed to me instead, when her objective was match-making me and my cousin's cousin (you can all laugh now!); I had to mend the way my cousin's cousin looked at me and blow off that other person away. And there was the case when I had to make another of my best friend understand why to choose parents over something mere as girlfriend (he eloped - until I had to fetch him). However, the worst was the case when one of my best childhood friends, who became my ex-girlfriend after years of unfortunate events, died. Samantha, which is her real name, along with Mae (not a real name, duh), was one of the two best friends of my childhood girlfriend, Lisa (which is again not a real name). Lisa is the daughter of my father's best friend, and she is only a few months younger than me. In each and every party thrown at Lisa's, the four of us always used to be together - like best friends, back from when we were just about four or five years old till Lisa went to stay abroad. We were best friends. In fact, Mae and Samantha helped the two of us A LOT!
Anyway, somewhat after Lisa's departure, I didn't know what I was thinking (as I was a despicable pervert back then), Samantha confessed to me and I accepted, when I should not have. She was really devoted alright; the problem seemed to be me. I double-crossed her, abused her, misbehaved with her in every way possible, dump her whenever I get bored of her, and then again accept her confessions when I didn't seem to have anyone - and I did it all while talking with Lisa over the phone at least once a week. Yup, I continued our relationship as a long-distance relationship - and she seem to still fulfill her end of the relationship very well. Anyway, I was messed up. I thought that playing with feminine sentiments was cool. It was only later that I realized that I was dead wrong. I continued using Samantha like this for about three years, and then I completely ignored her. She called very often, crying and apologizing if she had any fault. It was only later than I realized that, even though whatever happened between the two of us was completely my fault, she never accused me once - and she always apologized from her side. Three or four times, my mother or father would receive the call when I was absent (though they still haven't figured out that it was actually Lisa's best friend, Samantha). They resulted in huge arguments between me and my parents as to why I had a girlfriend (our society is extremely conservative - and parents do not usually tolerate relationships before the age of 18). I started detesting her, and shouted at her never to call me again.
She did not call for about two months or so, and then suddenly, one day, I received a call from Mae's number. However, it was Samantha. Suddenly, she told me that she was going to die and she wanted to meet me one last time. Obviously, I laughed at her, saying that she was lying. Many (not all) girls often say things like: "I'll commit suicide if you don't stop this!... If you drink again, I'll commit suicide… I think I'm going to die tonight, please don't do this to me… please…" whenever things don't go their way. It's very true - and you all know it, so don't act cool . Anyway, I did not believe her. Mae tried to convince me to come as well - she explained to me that her liver condition had gotten extremely worse and the doctor actually said it would take like a miracle to save her normally (she had liver cirrhosis - which is chronic). I just told Mae not to join her and I disconnected the line. She called for several times later, but I ignored her.
And two days later, Mae called me. She was crying, but she was furious. She threatened me that if I ever stepped into their area, she would kill me. But worst of all was when she called me a "Murderer". I could not believe it. Samantha wasn't lying. She died. Though it was described to be a case of liver cirrhosis (told to me by one of my friends who lived in the neighborhood), it was all because of me. I felt like a murderer. And believe me, I can tell you, I have never felt this miserable in my whole life. I fell sick for about four days just from the trauma I received when I realized my mistakes. I felt like there was a heavy load inside my heart which I could not remove - part of which is still there. I guess that incidence is the primary reason for the whole "change" thing.
The incident occurred before I engaged in a relationship with Mira, though. I was given much consolation and confidence by my friends to be the person that always have been (inc. Yov and Sparkie ). However, as time passed by, and unavoidably, all our memories circulated inside my head, the hatred and disgust for myself that I recently grew became more and more intense. Furthermore, Lisa still calls me once and twice a month, and she pretends as if nothing happened, as if she does not even know that Samantha has passed away. Why would she do something like that? Obviously, she knew of the relationship between Samantha and me. One way or another, it must have reached her ears. Then, the death of Samantha is a news that is bound to reach her. Then, why would she act as if nothing happened? Why does it always have to be too late when you realize your own mistakes? And now, I feel like that I can never again engage in a relationship with a girl again. I even intentionally ignore the chances if anyone seems to be interested in me, because I have simply lost the enthusiasm and the confidence required to engage in a relationship.
Anyway, talking about it just made me even more tensed before the exams, but it also released all those piled up feelings that I wanted to share with someone… or some people.

And at last, but not the least, there is another reason for my demise. DOTA - Defense Of The Ancients - it is a multiplayer mod in Warcraft III: Frozen Throne that I am addicted to. If you hear the things I do to play DOTA, you won't be able to differentiate between a drug addict and me being a DOTA-addict. I tell my mom that I'm going to study all night when I play DOTA all night. I take lunch money from my mom, and instead of having lunch, I play DOTA - with an empty stomach. I keep A-Level computerized reference books on the background and whenever mom or dad comes… SHEOW… Alt + Tab
Mom: "Son, will you be studying late? Do you want some coffee? Oh, look at my son, his health is getting worse. Don't study too much."
Me: "No mom, I have to do this! I have to study… umm… what is this… oh… effect of caffeine on heart beat rate of… daphnia, that's it… daphnia by tonight…"
Man, it's really addictive. It gets even more addictive when you go play at gaming pubs / zones. "Fhuckk!" Heck, some of my friends (though they're still noobs) and I have formed a clan which is going on tournaments from this July. We are called XSO - Xtreme Sex Offenders . Duh, after all, most heavy-duty gamers (who have nothing else to do with their life but to be spoon fed by their parents and play games) look nothing less than Sex Offenders.
Anyway, if there are any DOTA players here, let me know (I think Donny and Aries already does DOTA). Maybe L-Factor can also have it's very own DOTA Clan .

…
Whatsoever, that was my journal for today, and this month, and the last, and the one before that, and all the time I've been absent. The feeling has been great to be back here again, and Dad said I would have my own full-fledged internet connection after the exams are over. And then, my friends, I shall join you all in the wonderful world of L-Factor *teh heh heh*

PS - I'm in a really bad shape right now, due to my exams. Please pray for me - even if it's just a thought (e.g. "That Dave… really… I hope he does well" or something like, "I know you can do it, Dave… I know it…"), it would be more than enough.

---------------------------------------
@ Coldhardt - I wish, my friend. I wish .

theariesfantasy wrote:

joomla forums are pretty awesome, and joomla being completely free and pretty damn easy to use, well... yea, my 2 cents.

anyway, good to see you back haha. wall of text much

ogh my god th eariesfantasy is here.....I'm a big fan.............

1st July - and it was still 8:00 pm when I boarded the Malaysian Airlines aeroplane. We were actually headed towards Singapore - with a transit in Kuala Lampur, Malaysia. Originally, our intention was a direct flight to Singapore onboard Singapore Airlines. Nevertheless, there seemed to have been "a few difficulties" - at least, that is what our guardians said.
In total, there were six families touring together - one was ours, three more were families of my father's good friends, and the other two were new to us - who were cast aside along the trip by my father and his friends; well, they showed much anticipation to hang out with us, but father and the others calmly delivered the message: "We would like our privacy" by departing each and every time before they could tag along. I felt pathetic to be a part of these four families because they seemed much smarter and much more positive than our families (not more than me, though). Oh well, we did share our laughs and gossips with them when we were obliged to be together - like in the airport or the aeroplane or during tours.

2nd July - we landed on Singapore, and it was already morning as Singapore is 2 hours ahead of Bangladesh. Most of them went out shopping; I stayed back in the hotel - sleeping and watching television the whole time.

3rd July - we went to Universal Studios Amusement Park, Singapore. It was nowhere near as amazing as Dineyland, Hong Kong, but it had its attractions - especially the indoor Egyptian Roller Coaster. It was too bad that the outdoor roller coasters were still under maintenance, but even if it did work, it looked nothing like the roller coasters I rode back in the amusement parks in Shenzhen or Guangzhou back in China.
7:00 pm in the clock - we came back to our hotel. One of my father's best friend, who happen to have the same name as one of my mother's best friend, and also were in the same department, same section, only one classes apart, and even shared the same roll number, were now husband and wife. Actually, they had been ever since 1991 - thanks to my parents pulling some strings. What fate - a boy and a girl with the same name marrying each other. Anyway, they had been citizens in Singapore ever since their marriage and they brought us dinner - for all the four families.

4th July - it was finally the day for our real trip to begin. You see, we did not come to Singapore to visit - I have been there twice before, and this was the third. Our main purpose of coming to Singapore was to get onboard the cruise ship from the world-renowned Star Cruises company - Superstar Virgo. Yes, I came here for my first ever cruise ship experience. Honestly, at first, I was not the least bit excited. Four days and three nights on a cruise ship seemed like a cruel way to spend these precious time of my holidays; it seemed more like a holiday for the retired or for the newlyweds. A "Cruise" is definitely something a teenager - and to top it off, the teenager is a boy, who is going to be 18 this August - would never enjoy. However, looking at the faces of my parents, who seemed really thrilled by the idea, I decided to give in. That bright and sunny morning, as I was onboard the Singapore Flyer (the largest Ferris Wheel in the world) and all of Singapore just laid there before my eyes, I thought again: "Did I just make a terrible mistake?"
Finally, I was onboard the Superstar Virgo that afternoon - and with the map of the ship within my hands, and with my eyes carefully scrutinizing each and every part of it, my very first opinion was: "Yes, I did make a mistake!"
However, as the ship travelled through the Strait of Malacca over the South China Sea for the four days and three nights, I finally realized: "I did not…"
Night - there was a magic show - and even though the tricks were the typical magic tricks used in all magic shows, they were still amazing to behold right in front of my eyes and not in television. Well, throughout the day, I mostly toured the ship and there were some game shows, which I wanted to enter, but there were already no vacant spots for any more contestants, thus, I ended up watching them instead. The hosts were professional - and funny.

5th July - Half an hour of pool action, and I started catching a cold. But boy, did I forget swimming or what? Anyways, normally, I would have entered the Jacuzzi afterwards, but the outside temperature was already 32 degree Celsius - there is no way anyone would find it relaxing to enter the "hot tub" in such a scorching hot day, and under the sun.
Evening - and the ship docked at Phuket, Thailand. Honestly, I have been to Phuket before - I wanted to stay onboard the ship but my parents insisted because if I had not gone, the other children would have wanted to stay as well. Really, why the hell does a teenager have to spend his holidays with children who are at least five years younger than him? Why does my father not have a friend who has a daughter the same age as me and looks cute as well? I am the oldest of all the kids of my father's friend circle, and the younger sister is the second oldest. A very stupid misfortune.
Yet, even if they are children - kids, more precisely, I know how to blend with them perfectly well. To be honest, I particularly do not enjoy spending my holidays with children; but at least the thought that I can summon some smiles on these children's faces seems like a satisfying reason enough to motivate me. I have no idea why, but children always seem to return to me once I have made them smile - just one smile does the trick. My mother says that I have the special ability to become a child once I am with them. For example, in the airport, in front of everyone, I place my father's friend's child who is only 2 years of age in a trolley - and I push it. This is not as much as weird as what I do next: I sit in the trolley and tell the kid to push, and I find him pushing the trolley happily. In front of everyone, I am mimicking the kid - and the kid is enjoying it. In front of everyone, I am lifting the kid in the air, rubbing my head on his belly while I hear his cheerful laughter, making weird faces, playing hide and seek, playing "it", embarrassing myself if need be to make them smile (by intentionally wearing my pants low so they can smile at the sight of my underwear ) - whatever it takes. Eyes from everywhere around me are staring at me. Lips making out: "What a weird boy?" "How old does he think he is?" "Maybe he is mental". Really, what reason do I have to act my age with a kid? Talking about violence will make him cry. Talking about sex will ruin him. Talking about my personal life will repel him away from me. I simply do not care what you call me. As long as I am able to bring a smile on a kid's face, I simply do not care.

6th July - morning, and we all left for Langkawi, Malaysia - another place where I have been before once. Like the day before, I wanted to stay - but the kids urged me to go. A speed boat tour was all we could make out within the limited amount of time we stayed in Langkawi.
Night - and there was this show at the theatre that clearly made my whole trip worthwhile - an acrobatics show. It was called "Rasputin" - and no one would clearly believe it unless they saw it. I do not want to go over to the description.

7th July - our trip was finally going to be over that evening. In words, it may sound like I did nothing at all, and that is exactly how it was. I did nothing at all. All I did was lie down on the sky deck - beneath the sky, amidst the wind, surrounded by the sea, with headphones in my ears. I needed some time to myself, to contemplate. Throughout the last year, too much happened in my life, some of which I was unable to cope up with. I decided. I will think about it. And I will think about it. And I will run away. You see, a very large fraction of my brain is always occupied with them. For the greater good of my future, they needed to be removed. However, the past is the worst stalker of all - it will never leave you or let you be. At least that is what I figured out. I was unable to run away. I was unable to free that large fraction of my brain. It hurts. But I did come to a resolve. A decision. The past may be the greatest stalker, but it is again the greatest teacher as well.
Contemplation - and it took me back to when I first met Lisa - the center. My first gathering with her friends. My first infatuation towards her - and my first love. My first confession - and my first kiss. My first time in bed. And my first farewell. My first time in the dark corner - with nothing but despair. Samantha's hand of assistance. The time spend with Samantha and Mae. Samantha's confession. Me losing my mind. Samantha's death.
Throughout the passage of time, I made so many wrong choices that my hatred for myself was overtaken by nothing but shame and disappointment. My friends - everyone - looked up to me as the wisest and funniest - a person who always knows how to maneuver the situation. After thinking about it all, I realized: heck, how can I ever deserve such a title when I could not maneuver my own life?

I decided never to make such mistakes ever again.

--------------------------
@ Yov - I'm confused because of your last post :?
Oh, and everyone, there is a sequel to this journal post as a narration. I'll include in my literature thread, which I'm going to create now. Check it out too and leave comments in the journal, as I don't have a Creator's Corner thread yet.

dont make this too H now dave.

theariesfantasy wrote:

dont make this too H now dave.

^ This.


That, and tl;dr. :p